Posted on the commmunity billboard outside the game room of the Monad Assisted Living/Intensive Care Establishment.
The five best things about east Tangiers:
By an anonymous life-long resident of Tangiers and 6 month resident of this establisment (against his will).
1. The smell of the river in the morning: Somewhere between the smell of animal rot and the perfume of crisp dew. Take a nostril full as the sun cracks the sky, you won’t regret it.
2. The Tangy-Tangiers sandwich at Frank Benny’s Burger Banger. I have been trying to learn the ingredient of the secret sacue since my eyes barely cleared the bar stools at Benny’s, a restaurant that truly levels class distinctions.
3. The mysterious biography of Danning Flaminco. Local legend Danning Flaminco left the bar room stages East Tangiers at the age of 21, to seek his fortune on the train tracks, highways and interstates of the land. 21 more years later, he stumbled back into town, his eyes sunken, his arms bone thin, scars crisscrossing his back, and his mouth full of bizarre stories, his fingers deft and able. Danning lives somewhere in town to this day, with careful eyes and ears, you can spot him, strumming his worn guitar, singing of weird America in a raspy, grated voice to the willing of east Tangiers.
4. City Councilman Tomas Apping has a monster living in the bunker in his backyard. The last thing I saw before I was interred alive in this ramshackle excuse of a living grave, was a glistening wet tentacle, whipping frantically into the dark recesses of the Cold War era bunker in elected official Tom Apping’s backyard.
5. The trash heap playground on Fulsom street. A socially beneficial relic from Tangiers flirtation with progressive ("Communist!" they screamed) government. Before my imprisonment in this white-washed pit of reptilian ineptitude, I used to sit on the worn spindle swings, letting my swollen joints unwind in the wind flowing off of the abandoned Model A.
Note: A week after appearing, the crumbled sheet of clumsily typed paper was removed for containing political thought, contentious ideas and subversive social sentiment. The damage, however, may well already have been done.
By an anonymous life-long resident of Tangiers and 6 month resident of this establisment (against his will).
1. The smell of the river in the morning: Somewhere between the smell of animal rot and the perfume of crisp dew. Take a nostril full as the sun cracks the sky, you won’t regret it.
2. The Tangy-Tangiers sandwich at Frank Benny’s Burger Banger. I have been trying to learn the ingredient of the secret sacue since my eyes barely cleared the bar stools at Benny’s, a restaurant that truly levels class distinctions.
3. The mysterious biography of Danning Flaminco. Local legend Danning Flaminco left the bar room stages East Tangiers at the age of 21, to seek his fortune on the train tracks, highways and interstates of the land. 21 more years later, he stumbled back into town, his eyes sunken, his arms bone thin, scars crisscrossing his back, and his mouth full of bizarre stories, his fingers deft and able. Danning lives somewhere in town to this day, with careful eyes and ears, you can spot him, strumming his worn guitar, singing of weird America in a raspy, grated voice to the willing of east Tangiers.
4. City Councilman Tomas Apping has a monster living in the bunker in his backyard. The last thing I saw before I was interred alive in this ramshackle excuse of a living grave, was a glistening wet tentacle, whipping frantically into the dark recesses of the Cold War era bunker in elected official Tom Apping’s backyard.
5. The trash heap playground on Fulsom street. A socially beneficial relic from Tangiers flirtation with progressive ("Communist!" they screamed) government. Before my imprisonment in this white-washed pit of reptilian ineptitude, I used to sit on the worn spindle swings, letting my swollen joints unwind in the wind flowing off of the abandoned Model A.
Note: A week after appearing, the crumbled sheet of clumsily typed paper was removed for containing political thought, contentious ideas and subversive social sentiment. The damage, however, may well already have been done.
posted by PMJeepers | 1:27 AM
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